My siblings found out next and they supported me fully. My mum’s support encouraged me to start being more open about myself and I owe a lot of my self acceptance to her. It was the first time anyone in real life, not online, had told me it was OK to be gay. She told me that it was who I was and that it’s OK to be gay. I expected her to be disgusted, the same way I was disgusted with myself, but she wasn't - she was fine with it.
I kept my 'deep dark secret' to myself for about a week, before I broke down and told my mum that I had a slight attraction to girls. Despite being out to myself, I was still deeply in the closet with my true sexuality. I calmed myself down by telling myself that I was bisexual so I’d only date boys and never girls. I was 16 when I admitted to myself that maybe I was bisexual. I had a full meltdown, hyperventilating and sobbing for hours to the point of getting a blood nose, thinking that I was so disgusting and awful for being even slightly gay.
